Belief is a really powerful thing. It can actually pull you back from the brink sometimes. When you’re seemingly in dispair, it can actually make you believe in something again, be it something big or small.
This year, as I’ve already mentioned, has been the worst year ever. I wouldn’t – or won’t – openly say directly why, but it wouldn’t take a genius to figure that out. I’ve been actively counting down the days to this coming Monday and New Years Eve. Not because it’s an excuse to go out and get drunk, but more because 2012 can actually end. And thus, 2013 begins.
As of these past few weeks, I’ve actually gotten all of a sudden optimistic about what’s to come for next year. I don’t know why, I haven’t been able to put my finger on it (though some great personal news last week certainly helped matters). I’m never like that in the build-up to the new year. But for 2013, it’s completely different.
A few weeks before Christmas, I wrote on a small sheet of notepad paper my five biggest goals and dreams of next year (I also added an extra goal on the back of the sheet that is contingent on one of the main aims happening). I’m not going to spill my guts out and tell you what most of them are because some of them are a bit personal (particularly number three on the list).
But I will say main goal number two is fulfilling the goal that’s more familiar to people under the codename, ‘The Masterplan’. For those not in the know, The Masterplan is the plan I’ve had for three years where I move from Derry in Northern Ireland to the mainland, in London (or nearabouts), permanently. I was very close to pulling the trigger (and I do mean “close”) this year, but events conspired against me.
As I said previously, while I won’t assuredly say it’ll be this year, I’ll try my best for it to be as soon as possible. I’ll be trying my best, as part of my list of goals for 2013, that the soon as possible will be next year.
For my main goal, I’m not going to say specifically what it is. But I will say this. Following the events of this past summer and the dying embers of what was known as Doritogate, I felt I was done writing about games. My beliefs about the industry were mostly shattered, my enthusiasm had pretty much been critically shot by a firing squad and my confidence was all but shanked to near death.
But the one thing that I still held onto – and still do – is knowing that I have a big dream of mine in the industry that I wish to fulfill as a journalist. Whether it will come true in the new year, I really don’t know. But that is something that still keeps me going, it still makes me strive to be a better games journalist (be it as a news journalist or otherwise), so it’s that dream of sorts that still has me writing about games.
Maybe it’s that list that has me in a more optimistic belief that 2013 will be better. And if that’s the case, lets do it.
Sorry, I’m just babbling spew all over the shop now. Happy new year!