Fuckity hi.

peter capaldi

I’ve not watched Doctor Who for a while, admittedly. I watched a few episodes of Matt Smith’s incarnation, but I’ve not watched it week-after-week since, albeit I peek my head in every now and then. No disrespect to Smith’s attempt at the role, I’m sure he’s mostly done well since he took over. But most of my interest in the show went when David Tennant left in the Christmas special 2009.

I’ve grown up on the modern telling of the series that returned eight years ago through Chris Eccleston, Tennant and Smith – even if, like I’ve said, I’ve not watched a great deal of Smith’s episodes – and not through the Doctors before 2005, from the Bakers to Peter Davison and those before and after them.

The Doctors that I’ve seen have mainly been very young compared to pre-2005, but last night’s announcement of Peter Capaldi as the Twelfth Doctor, an announcement akin to a new actor taking on the reigns of James Bond or Sherlock Holmes, could very well bring me back to the series and introduce new life in the modern-era Doctor Who.

For one, Capaldi is old. As a 55 year old man, we get to see an older man compared to the last three gentlemen before him take the keys to the TARDIS. Considering, like I’ve said, I’ve grown up from a teenager to a grown adult man in the past eight years watching younger actors, I’m curious to see how the audience who’ve only watched since 2005 will get on with Capaldi in the role.

There is, however, a double-edged, sword shaped elephant in the room: Malcom Tucker. Capaldi’s role as the almighty swearing head of comms for the government in The Thick Of It is without question one of the best characters I’ve ever seen in a TV show. He is, basically, my role model when it comes to creative swearing. And yet, that could be a problem. Because every time I’m now going to watch Doctor Who next year, I’m going to half-expect Capaldi come up with Who-related swears. Examples:

Eat the fucking cheese, Davros.

You, Judoon, of sound, mind, but with a body that looks like a giant sex toy.” (admittedly, this one is a stretch as Malcom doesn’t actually say that, but it’s on his level anyways)

He’s as useless as a Dalek dildo.

And here’s my favourite, though unlike the above, this is one I’ve not come up with. Rather, a comment from a YouTube video (via NeoGAF).

After seeing so many “best of” clips of´╗┐ Peter as Malcolm Tucker, I wouldn’t be able to look at him as the Doctor without expecting him to say something like, “Listen to me, you fuckking flying trash bins. If you Daleks ever fucking threaten Earth again, I’ll take those fucking toilet plungers of yours and fucking shove them up your fucking tin-can arses!” Then he turns around and barks, “Well, go on then, Clara, for fuck’s sake! Back in the fucking TARDIS!”

And this too.

And now, when we see Capaldi in the TARDIS hotseat, we’re going to get YouTube dubs featuring scenes from his time on Doctor Who, dubbed by the best creative swearing that was ever aired on UK television. And I can’t help but think that’ll follow his tenure on the show for some reason.

Update: It’s already happening! “Run, you clever boy.” “OH FUCK OFF!”

On the other hand, though, it’s actually going to be quite amazing to see the results of children waking up this morning to Google the name of Peter Capaldi and see the results of it, including certain Thick Of It videos. And at the risk of coming across as hypocritical, there’s a chance here for a post-watershed 9pm Children in Need Doctor Who skit, where the Doctor swears absolutely non-stop in situations like above.

But putting all of the Malcolm Tucker stuff aside, as someone who’s only really watched since the 2005 reboot, I’m excited to see an older actor take on the role this time and see what come of it. And it seems like there’s no-one better suited than Peter Capaldi. Only the 50th Anniversary special and the Christmas special to get through before we finally get there, but I can’t wait.

Until then, fuckity bye.

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